Hello everyone, been while since I have posted here. I have a general pattern of posting for a few weeks to a few months on here and then disappearing for awhile.
Since last time I posted here I went for a psych eval to see if I had ADHD and or ASD. I believe I had mentioned a few times I had thought I had ADHD. Well I got my results back recently and the results were ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) level 1. A lot of things in my life finally feel as if they have clicked in place as far as understanding myself. Beyond that my first baby will be arriving sometime within the next 30 days.
I am wanting to get back into Beeminder for a few reasons:
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With a baby coming I want to make sure I am top of things such has making sure I am helping keep the house clean.
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Make sure I am tracking data in the Huckleberry app for the baby.
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Make sure I start routines with me and my wifes future child, such as reading a story every night.
The Round ABOUT PROBLEM
I run into a similar issue every time I do Beeminder. It will help 3 weeks till a max of around 2 months (minus the first time I tried it which went like 6 months) . Feels like I am in a loop as it happens again and again. Usually things break down when one of the following things happen:
1. A major negative life event will occur. At which point I just fully give up and just put in fake data until I archive goals.
2. I will get sick multiple times in a row usually really close together. This happened recently. In last two months I had 4 ear infections (doctors are not sure why), bronchitis bad for two weeks, another random virus that caused coughing, days with ear issues beyond ear infections that caused vertigo and dizziness, really bad eczema outbreaks that lead to skin infections and etc.
During one of these cycles I will put in fake data as I can’t afford to derail for weeks in a row. Usually leads me to just giving up.
3. I become hyper fixated on some other system or some other random thing. Usually this hyper fixation will last a few weeks to several weeks. Recent example I found a book series I liked. Within a 14 day period I read 1,700 pages. It was all I could think about day or night. I forgot to eat several times, was sleeping only 2-3 hours a night and I would need to use the restroom but would hold it for 3-4 hours until it caused pain I could no longer ignore.
My wife helps remind me to do basic things in the throws of my hyper focuses. On the Beeminder side of things I just enter fake data for my hyper fixation period or archive all goals.
4. There will be a lot of change in my life or a lot of social events near each other. I will become very dysregulated (Possibly ASD burnout when it persists). During these periods I can barely get myself to do anything.
I just want to lay in bed all day, if I have work my productivity is in the toilet. I dont want talk or socialize with anyone but my wife. During these times doing anything becomes extremely hard.
Even things I like eating become a fight during parts of the burnout period. Usually I will have major sensory issues during these. Example being my sense of touch will become extremely sensitive. If someone touches me it makes me want to puke and scream (cause sleep
Issues also). Sometimes can not even have blankets on me at night. Too much noise will put me in distress. Smells become abnormally strong. Because of all this my focus also becomes absolute garbage, and I will have persistent brain fog. I used to think these were depressive episodes but with the sensory issues on top of it I lean towards it being ASD burnout.
This can last anywhere from a single bad day to several weeks. During these times I will just enter fake data into Beeminder or archive my goals after entering fake data. As again I can not afford to derail for weeks on end. Prior to my ASD diagnosis I looked at these times as me being a failure/lazy person, but I now see it was just my brain becoming dysregulated and forcing me to take a break even if I didnt want to.
5.Inherently using Beeminder causes me near constant anxiety unless I have all goals done for the day. Albeit that is how it gets me to do things. Generally I am okay with this as long as the anxiety it is causing is less than anxiety caused by not doing the Beeminder goals. Example a dirty house can be much more stressful than using Beeminder. But sometimes it feels like the anxiety of using Beeminder increases too much. At which point I quit again.
Recommendations to help
With all the above do you guys have any recommendations on how to stick with Beeminder and not have me fall off the wagon every few weeks to a few months? As when it works its great I feel like I am being a very productive person. I just can not seem to maintain it. I have tried many other systems but none of them seem to last even close to how long Beeminder does in spite of my repeated failures to maintain it.