$90 and I waited too long 😖

It’s been a a crazy day and theres no way I’ll make my step goal that’s in beemergency status in the next half hour. I upped the pledge cap to $90 recently. I think $90 is the right number for this goal because I’m real pissed about not dispatching the beemergency. I had recently been letting them slide with a lower pledge cap and the “sting” was starting to feel meaningless. It’s totally possible if I would have followed my intentions, this is just me not doing what I said I would. Paying isn’t punishment, this is just the thing doing the thing, right?

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Yeah, totally! The sting has to sting!

For me, reconciling myself to Beeminder was tough, as it involved coming to terms with this part of myself that hates to fail at anything, no matter how trivial - or inevitable. For example, I like to play chess, and if you’re playing against people at your level, you’re going to loose half the time (draws excluded). I hate it! But it’s the sting that pushes me to get better.

I end up thinking of it like this: $90 is whatever the opportunity cost of that is for me - a dinner out, or a new gadget, or whatever. Losing (or delaying, more realistically) that thing is the actual sting: the monetary value is just a way of translating that through time back to the present. The upside of the sting, however, is that the acknowledgement of the delay will push me to try harder next time. And that’s how it works for me.

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