@coolhandlouis: Based on an earlier topic that you created Beeminder + Org Mode = Heaven I think that you are familiar with code/the beeminder api. Ha please ignore my suggestion below if you are not.
If so you could GET/call the following key-value pairs from the API using something like Google Apps Script to put them in a spreadsheet like your example:
roadstatuscolor: provides values such as red, orange, green
safebuf: the number of days before you will derail (e.g. 7)
Once you have that data you can use conditional formatting to color the cells (e.g.if safebuf is less than 3 then color the cell red)