I’ve noticed over the past year that whenever I start a new habit, I seem to have an endless supply of motivation—at least at first. It feels like a burst of excitement that makes the habit almost effortless to follow.
Some examples:
After years of drinking alcohol routinely as part of most social activities, I stopped completely for about six months.
I went from a fully sedentary lifestyle to running roughly 15 miles a week.
After a lifetime of spending several hours a day online, I quit all “for-fun” internet use for about a week.
Of these, only running involved using Beeminder for accountability, but even that often felt unnecessary because my motivation seemed limitless.
Each habit went well—until the first time I slipped. After a single stumble, the motivation vanished. What once felt exciting and easy suddenly became almost impossible to maintain.
This pattern mystifies me. If I could figure out how to recreate that initial surge of motivation, it would be life-changing. But so far, it feels random and fleeting.
Has anyone else experienced this? How do you get that spark back?
I used to feel pretty hamstrung by a similar motivational pattern: I thought of it as a three-month (max) excitement window, after which the vast majority of my motivation would suddenly drop out.
Three things that seem to have helped:
Getting older: I’m 41 now and just don’t feel like this happens as much as when I was in my twenties. Some kind of intuitive knowing-of-myself. My habits just seem more responsive to my deliberate input. Motivation is less of a factor.
Having meta-hobbies/meta-projects: For example, I’m converting to Judaism, which is a multi-year process. I’m like 1.5-2 years in. I’m frequently struck by doubts about whether I’m successfully sustaining interest, deserve conversion, am sincere, etc. But then I reflect on my hobbies and I’m like: no, I’m good, because conversion to Judaism is a meta-project that many of my other hobbies sustain:
I have a solid language hobby. Which language am I studying? Hebrew.
I have a solid novel-reading hobby. What novels am I prioritizing? Novels by Jewish authors.
I watch a lot of movies. What movies do I prioritize? Movies involving Jewish themes, Jewish actors, Jewish directors, etc.
Putting a lot of money on the line with Stickk. I studied mathematics largely against my will for a year by making it extremely painful to stop. I used a ref and required photographic proof of progress three times a week.
For meta-projects, any one of those related hobbies can and will drop off the map (temporarily or permanently), but it’s unlikely that all of them will disappear at once, so my long-term commitment to conversion is pretty effortlessly sustained.
I’ve also come to view that initial burst of motivation as fun but suspect. My wife rolls her eyes at me whenever it pops up and I’m into, like…boats all of a sudden . If it feels like a meaningful project, I act knowing that the motivational burst will be temporary and try and convert it into something sustainable by weaving it into the stronger, longer-term threads of my life.
Same. I try to frame the initial period of inspiration as an opportunity to:
Assess if I actually want to keep up x long term
Determine what level of x I’d find valuable long-term (since the amount I do x in the short-term can sometimes be excessive or unnecessary)
Explore the smallest system changes that are likely to preserve that level of x long term
At least for me keeping up that initial level of motivation for most things wouldn’t be desirable, since for me that motivation usually involves some level of ADHD-fueled hyper focus which isn’t actually good for me as a whole, crowding out other things that I can’t afford to ignore long-term. So I view it as a valuable initial phase, but one that I need to expect to transition out of.
Thanks for sharing this, these observations about your motivation “modes” are surprisingly[1] relatable. I was especially interested in what you wrote about “repulsion”. Do I understand it correctly that it’s your wording? I briefly searched for “repulsion in the context of ADHD” but all results I am getting are about something else. I am just wondering, maybe you have read something on related things if you have been thinking about this for a while.
Surprisingly in terms of “wow, I am experiencing this at this exact moment” - not that I am surprised that other people in general might experience similar things to what I do. ↩︎
Yes, my word! Though I think people have referred to similar concepts. @dreev mentioned “ugh fields” in reply to my post. I’ve also heard the term “wall of awful” used. You might also find this video interesting on specifically the relationship between ADHD and motivation. When I use the term repulsion I’m probably thinking some about when it’s gotten to the point of physical burnout, but there are certainly all different levels of this and different words people use to refer to it.
. If it feels like a meaningful project, I act knowing that the motivational burst will be temporary and try and convert it into something sustainable by weaving it into the stronger, longer-term threads of my life.